i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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