I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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