last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Success! We fucked roommates!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize