I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
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My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
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Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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