I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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