I think I am morally bankrupt
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize