my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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