I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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