he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize