I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize