is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize