Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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