If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
her vagine was all disorganized.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize