The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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