I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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