i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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