Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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