omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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