hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize