Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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