Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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