I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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