That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
His hands were made for my vagina.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
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I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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