even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
the raccoons are back...
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