Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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