How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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