my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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