I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize