im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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