is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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