Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize