she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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