I wannas sexs uuuuu
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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