woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize