I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
im on a boat
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