i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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