Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize