And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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