And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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