wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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