You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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