JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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