The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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