Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize