i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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