Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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