i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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