what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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