carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
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Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
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the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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