You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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