A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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