i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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